Bryanna:

I haven't even read your whole post yet. I wanted to address the first line. lol

Melody,

You certainly are interested in the "nitty gritty" of something that scares the bajeebers out of you.... lol!!

This is how I try and understand my phobia. I think I was conditioned to be afraid because my mother brought me along with her to her visit to her dentist the day she got all her teeth pulled. I was 5, a little child, sitting on a long brown bench. I had long brown hair with bangs (see how good my memory is? and I was 5. that's almost 60 years ago and that memory is burned into my brain.

She came out and banged the walls. Never said a word, just banged the walls (which were beige by the way).

NEVER FORGOT THAT EXPERIENCE.

Which set me up for a LIFETIME of fear, phobia, whatever.

So fast forward to Melody, getting a bit of courage, finding my lovely phobia specialist who took the time to address my fears, listened to me, and assured me. The fear never really leaves you, and you are ALWAYS relieved when you get out of the chair, but I'm much better than I ever was.

I have learned that education is key to overcoming any obstacle. You have a fear, you learn all you can learn about that fear, and you try and understand why you have the fear, and, if you are lucky, and able, and all the stars are aligned, then just maybe, you can do whatever you need to do to deal with THAT PARTICULAR FEAR.

That's what I am doing. I learn about what I'm afraid of, and I try and overcome in.

There is no way that a person could take my hand and say "Melody stop being afraid of the dentist". That DOES NOT WORK with any dental phobic.

I remember YEARS ago when I had to have some work done. This was over 13 years ago. I found a dental phobia clinic out of some hospital in Brooklyn, NY. My husband took me.

There was this woman who was running the program and she walked you through the whole thing and you then met up with the dentist (a lovely woman), who came out of her office and talked to me and my husband in the hallway. Since this was not an actual appointment, there was no necessity for me to sit in any chair in any office. I was so relieved at that I cannot tell you.

I remember distinctly standing in front of these two women and next to my husband and I was trying to explain my fear and I started to cry and I said "you have NO idea how I am afraid and I am not even comfortable talking to you right now".

She listened and she said "I completely understand". Well, when I had to go for my first visit, I was shaking so, and you won't believe what I did before my name was called.

I remember this as if it happened yesterday. Dental phobics WANT TO BE ASSURED THAT THEY WILL NOT BE HURT. At least this was always the fact in MY case. Anything to do with work in my mouth brought up all the fear.

So when I was sitting down and I saw the lady dentist (before my appointment), I walked up to her and I said "May I ask you to do something?" and she said "of course hon" and I said "Can you please just reassure me that you won't hurt me". She looked at me and this look of compassion came over her and she said "I absolutely promise" and I said "thank you".

When my name was called I sat in the chair like it was the electric chair and she said "I'm covering all the instruments and I then said "Please don't come at me with that picky thing". She said "no problem, but just know that as you get more comfortable I need to use this instrument to check the surfaces of your teeth". She didn't use it that day.

I got a this panoramic x-ray thing (this was WAY before digital x-ray), and then I was told I needed this or that done.

She always numbed me up BEFORE the injections and I never felt an injection. Also she explained that it's not the injection but how fast the novocaine is injected. She knew her stuff.

Both Alan and I went to that dental clinic. He's not phobic so he got the other person in her practice. She was a teacher and I always went to her.

I'll never forget that last visit. I felt great. I was going home. It was over.

I saw her for a few years but then she closed that practice and I could never find her again. AND I NEVER WENT TO ANOTHER DENTIST UNTIL I FOUND MY GUY IN NYC.

The mind works in mysterious ways.

I haven't even begun to read the rest of your post. I skimmed it and I came upon you discussing dead nerves and I couldn't even read that.

I am now going to face my fear and read the rest of the post.

Hey, I'm trying. lol
Melody