Hi friends, well the last few days were very stressful and emotional for me and I had to get some stuff done for school (more like catch up on a lot of homework). Thank you for understanding about my crying episode at the doctor. The reason why I said that I was scared to cry in public was because I was taught to never show bad emotions in public or I would be in a lot of trouble so I guess that kind of sticks with me. Also, I was embarassed because I know that there are people that are going through way worse than me so I feel kind of guilty crying over me just being in pain especially since I am so used to it unfortunately. I know that it is important to get my notes from other doctors but they cost money and sometimes I cannot afford them especially since my medical history is extremely large and very complicated. Also, I have having some weird problems with getting a pain doctor (yet again). I am still trying to get my pain dr appt but every time I call them I cannot get through or they make me leave a message. Well, the referral people left me messages saying that I can only be called 3 times and then they will not see me in the pain clinic! Isn't that crazy and then when she does leave a message it is super fast so you can barely understand what she is saying! This pain doctor I am trying to see was actually the original one my stim doctor was wanting me to see but never sent the referral until I guess yesterday (which was after the whole episode with me in the blood doctor office that i wrote about). So, if I don't get in with that one because we keep playing phone tag as they said then at least I have a back up pain doctor to try to get into so I have some options which is better than not having any at all.

*This is off topic but I am also upset because I have been getting my records from old doctors and I finally got the records regarding what happened during my hysterectomy 4 years ago. I found out that there was nothing wrong with the organs they took out and there was no endometriosis even though they told me there was! They also told me that I had have one and it was my last resort to fixing my pelvic pain I had for 10 years so anyway, I know I should just let it go but I just do not understand why they did this to me when things were normal and my dad (whom I am no longer in contact with) and my ex husband had also lied and told me that the doctors had found a lot of endometriosis. Its just kinda sad because I am still in pain after going through it besides the fact of not being able to have kids. I mean I was at a place that I was okay with not having kids and just adopting in order for me to get better but now it feels like I did all of it for nothing. I am sorry I know that is totally off topic but its something that is really bothering me and made me upset.*

I also agree that maybe my stim doctor won't send records because this does reflect on her work and she does not want to look like she is to blame. I had to get a letter from her before so that I could give it to school to get ADA accommodations and I practically had to fight her office just to get a letter that cost me thirty dollars! I am really going to keep trying to be optimistic however, that this new pain doctor (whichever one I get to) will be able to help me. As always, thanks for listening! Will give you an update as soon as I can Tara