i am feeling dreadful today. i am on my 3rd cup of caffeinated coffee (usually max at 2), hoping it can just make me feel a little better. moodwise i mean.

i am on cooking duty today. since what i am making requires a long process and kitchen time, i volunteered to also cook the cauliflower just so it doesn't mould in the fridge.

i am about 1/2 way done. (the cauliflower is cooling, all the pre-work is done for the dinner dish and have washed up the first phase stuff). so i mean, i am being productive. i am going plod, plod. not sitting on my butt. well, except right now. but i feel awful, just really down, emotionally beat up run over by a steamroller put through a carwash and hung out to dry.

dad just got home and i wished he had stayed out a little longer because i wanted to be alone. and i even feel guilty about that... sheez where does it end.

~ waves ~