Bless your heart. I cannot imagine what you've been thru. All I can say is I'm so very sorry. No one should be put thru that kind of trauma.

I can tell you that I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed, and I do suffer from anxiety. I've been in and out of therapy all of my life. I was depressed as a child, as I came from a horrible childhood ~ all of us kids were basically ignored and we brought ourselves up. There was no affection at all and no attention paid to us. My parents were both alcoholics, so they were doing their "thing."

I have been 'molested' but not raped, and once was by a therapist!!! Go figure. From then on, I only went to female therapists. lol

Have you been in therapy or to a psychologist to see if they can help you? If nothing else, you should be taking an antidepressant and/or an anti-anxiety medication. I hope you're seeing a doctor for this. I highly recommend you see someone and talk about this. The sooner you get this trauma OUT of you, the sooner you can move on. It does FREE you. I found that out by opening up and telling my psychologist what happened to me. I got rid of the poison that had been eating away at my soul.

I don't live in that deep dark place anymore. I left that behind. It's gone. Now I can move forward and forget that horror. You can too if you will trust someone. That's what they are there for ~ to help you get rid of it. I hope you will think about it and give it a try. Let your soul fly. Then you can too. God bless, and keep me posted on how you're doing. I care. Hugs, Lee