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Originally Posted by Swatgen27
Background: Had an injection for treatment of migraine when I was 24 and the shot hit a nerve which caused the CRPS to start in right hip. It has been 3.5 yrs that I have been fighting CRPS and my case spread to both legs from hip to toes.
I feel like I'm losing this battle and I must admit in my opinion I gave it a good fight.. Was a tom boy growing up and extremely athletic until the nightmare started. I used avoidance and denial for a long time, as I finished my MBA in record time and got my dream job at one of the top 100 public accounting firms in the US. I loved my work but came with long hours and a lot of stress (My specialty was auditing local governments and trust me that job comes with a world of issues to ensure there are no material misstatements....)
As my CRPS worsened I had to go in for numerous treatments (intensive pain programs, nerve blocks, radio frequency injection, and ketamine infusions.) Each treatment came with their empty promises as they provided little results but each treatment took time away from work... Let’s just say once the company I worked for found out my disease was not curable, my career ended 2 months later which was last June.
Having a difficult walking (even with my intensive medication routine) and I don’t see how I will be able to live that I worked so hard for while fighting this unpredictable, un-relentless, piece of s*** disease. I fought so hard and am disappointed that it all was for nothing. =( I guess I feel defeated this time and was wondering how do I pick myself back up this time??????
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Iam so sorry for your sad heart... This is a relentless, thankless battle... We have all been in the trench of "whats the use" before..I think it is so normal and common for us to feel that way.. My most heartfelt apologies to you at this time..My thoughts are.. well, no regrets..you have tried and given your all...Not changing one option of how your handled yourself in your treatments.....our livelyhoods are our glue. I find that others who are still healthy and working just can't feel the depth of our pain.... The pain of loss of our purpose.. I, too had to leave my work as a research scientist after 25 years service, plus I was a tennis instructor for many years..sports was my gig! I loved what I did only to surrender to RSD.. beginning in my rt. knee/leg now whole body in just 3 years.. But can I give you a warm tip?? One day you can re-pay me when I am where you are today...(trust me it will happen)... Find the love in your heart... Let go of what we can not control..We still have others who love us for who we are today..Listen the the birds chirp outside, share a smile with a stranger, it will come back to you... take a refreshing nap in the warm sunshine..allow yourself to feel good once you validate the sad heart feelings.. try not to place stress on yourself for what has happened or what we can not control...life is still wonderful, we just have to clear away the merk and weeds so we can see and feel it..
Hugz for you so that your day will be brighter... You have done really good and you will continue to once today passes...
Kathy
