Yep, here is pain management.....

My rheumie tells me my IVIG isn't doing any good....says I have fibro....never mind hubby can smell last nites binge on her breath....

GI sees her say I have fibro.....cripes....now I need neurontin.

OK, I am on neurontin....still need the vicodin, but WTH, taking the neurontin....but running out of vicodin (small dose BTW)...keep in mind I am the person who took myself off fentanyl last year.

Neuro, thank God, ignores all the BS....if not for him, I would want to leave the planet.

Ok, so call the pharmacy, cuz THEY are the ones to fax the doc....I call on Wed. cuz I am going to run out of my vicodin over the HOLIDAY WEEKEND. Med not filled Thursday...Now mind you, it is DUE to be filled...no cheating, no week early...nope was a good girl.

OK, no call on Friday from Robopharmacist.....I get a call on Friday at 3:30 to drive to my docs office to sign a pain contract.

I say, 'What did I do wrong?'
Nice nurse says, "Nothing, every one has to sign them"
'Why?"
"Because the drug dealers are getting vicodin"
'I am not a drug dealer'.
"Well you have to sign this"
"I can't get there....I have an infant, it is late"
"Well, then you can't have your vicodin"
"Fine, I will die with my dignity"

OK, so I opt for dignity and wait until my doc appt. the next week, and cold turkey...you know how well that goes for any one with autonomic neuropathy. My dignity went out the window and down the toilet....by the time my doc appt. rolls around, I am pretty well thru my WD...again.

So today, I sign this 3 page contract, that basically absolves them from any possible circumstance including armageddon. I have promised to give them my first born child to harvest body parts from (they don't want mine, I am sick), my Subaru and best dog, oh and next year's crops....all of them. Oh, and if a drunk driver hits me, it's my fault, no matter what.

I sign this thing only because I am convinced by the doctor that EVERY patient on any narcotic, including Darvocette has to sign this damn thing....plus, I had a headache and my grandson by then, had had it and cr@pped his pants too. And I have come to the realization, I hurt really bad without medication and nothing else really helps, not even my Morontin.

Ok, I get this slew of scripts that needed filling....I didn't pay attention, I just was handed all these scripts, which I shoved into my important papers section of my purse, which also contains my cell phone. and leave...Ok, they win.

I get to the megapharmacy and walk in with this 20 pound burping kid,who has deposited the contents of his last bottle on me. He smells like a compost bin....drag myself to the counter, and voila....there are 2, yes, TWO scrips for vic. I am thinking, what is wrong with this picture??

Well, I knew it was an error and told the pharmacist and then immediately called my doc to tell them what happened....one must have been attached to the contract I failed to come sign and then she wrote one, but half of me wondered....what if they KNEW there were two and they tested me...I really like my primary and would not want to cause her any problem, but I wonder how often this happens.

I have to laugh....if me signing my life away that I won't possibly use more than my allotment per day, will stop the drug dealer on Main St. well bless them...I don't think it will make a dent. People that steal script pads, get multiple narcotic scripts from multiple docs, go to ERs, etc....or make the cr@p themselves, I dunno, I have no idea.....but, I just want to be able to walk on my feet. That is all I am asking....walk on my feet....use my hands....not feel like my rib cage is going to snap at any second, or my head blow up, or my neck....blah, blah, blah....

I have been to a pain clinic and all they ever offered me were drugs I can't take due to movement disorder. I went to one pain clinic where I waited 3, that is THREE hours before I left, in disgust. I am not depressed. I am not angry. I am well adjusted given the fact I live in chronic pain from SFN and a few other maladies. Apparently one doctor feels the IVIG should render me painless, somewhat like her binge did her. Sure I could have reported her and lost my good docs too....my thought was just don't see her again and so far that is working ok. My primary will get her script back....cuz I am honest, and she has taken my pain seriously.

Thank God for my neuro and primary, even if I did have to sign the Snagma Carta to get my 'pain pills'.