Thank you everyone for your warm thoughts and advice as I really took the responses to heart. The advice and warm thoughts have helped me decide that I will be taking at least a 2-3 month off from work with the goal of sorting some of this out...
I went through numerous invasive procedures and the normal treatments for CRPS. Not one treatment provided the long relief so they were discontinued but the Dr’s always provided the next course of action. So I was referred to Dr Lubenow, which is the top specialist in the State of Illinois. He gave me two options and at this point in time I will only do non-invasive treatments so I choose Ketamine (I have been there and done the invasive procedures and each time the procedures caused more pain with no lasting effect).
After 3 outpatient treatments the Dr said he wanted me to check into the hospital and participate in the invasive treatment (which was a nerve block but instead of a traditional approach. The traditional being an injection procedure vs. having them put a catheter in the spine for two weeks.
And to the part that made me quite treatments:
I respectfully reminded the Dr that I refuse to do anymore invasive treatments and he was not happy that I would not consider what he said is needed... I said well if I don’t do this treatment what other options do I have and he said none and that if I don’t do what he say then I’m a dead girl walking and that I will die within the next3-5 years. I left after that part and never looked back...However what he said still haunts me every day.
And lastly, every day for the last 3.5 years I have fought so hard but at this point I have tried everything I know and it is not success that I’m feeling. In every aspect of my life this disease has taken a toll and that is the part I fought so hard against. I may have had this disease for 3.5 years but I grew up in a household with two amazing parents in which my parents happen to be blind and in one case deaf as well. My parents don’t let their disability stop them and they work so hard not to let it define them and that is why they are my role models but see how I feel today is even a failure as to what I wanted to do to prove to my parents that I’m strong like them.
I’m sorry to bring this negativity to the group as I don’t want to bring down others. After reading the great advice and heart to heart responses that were given, I have decided that I’m going to plan to get away for a while with my Hubby because the one thing I definitely know is I need a vacation.