Thank you gals for your advice and support. This weekend I wasn't able to go to the doctors office for the weird sypmtoms- we had an annual camping trip. Anymore, I am just learning to live with things so my family doesn't have to suffer with my issues. It is bad enough to feel physically sick- but then realizing how it effects your family- guilt, anger, frustration and sadness. I feel like I'm robbing them of fun and life. It isn't fair.
Physically- Saturday morning I woke up stumbly and had vertigo but after I had walked around for a while I felt good. The weather was gorgeous. I thought- Yeah! Finally I know it was going to be a good day. Just like more days where I wake up like that it only lasted til about 3:00 pm- Then the weakness/fatigue and severe vertigo hit me like a blast into a brick wall. ugh!! We were camping with friends- and I wanted so much just to be a apart of the group- having fun and watching the football game. But instead, I had to go to the camper and lay down on a gorgeous day. Very angry at my body. Sad that my DH and boys didn't get to spend time with me like we wanted. So I would go outside every hour for about 15 minutes and then go back and lay down. Put on a happy face and make it 'look okay'- when I felt absolutely horrible. One point in the afternoon I had a really tough time walking- red flag should have been a huge warning sign- stop! no- I didn't pay attention to it.
Sunday: Picking up garbage, etc. and packing things up to go home normally I help with- but not yesterday- too weak. DH told me 'Do not do anything!'- But I felt so guilty and hurt seeing him stressed out doing all of the work. Our boys weren't listening and helping him like they were suppose to. There was a bag of garbage that needed to be taken to the dumpster. I just wanted to help. DH told me to leave it alone and the boys could do it- they never did. I could see the stress and frustration my DH was going thru- and it made me feel even worse. I just felt so bad for him.
So what did I do? Picked up the garbage bag and tried to take it to the dumpster- not very far from where we were camped at. My walk- not good- stumbling- and out of it. Should have listened to DH. What happened? I stumbled over my own feet, tripped and then rt foot landed on the curb- fell; big fall. NOT good at all. Wore flip flops. Feet all scraped up, fingers scraped up and tore a huge chunk out of my thumb. Then my rt foot immediately started to swell. Hurt really bad. Not able to even put it on the ground without intense pain. Stupid!!!!
Hubby cleaned me all up- which took a long time- making the boys late for their first/big game of the year- against their rival team- which due to my foot hurting so bad and unable to walk on it- I missed. grrr!! DH after game took me to the doctor. x-ray: luckily- sprained foot. We were really relieved. However I just felt so bad for DH. He didn't need me more incompent and inable to help him due even less than I already am doing.
Right now we don't know if it is med/physical related with my symptoms. All I know it is tearing up my DH in all shape/form. I love him so much and it hurts more than anything seeing him stressed out due to me being a mess. I am the one that needs to take care of him/the boys/the home; not vise versa. He already does enough himself at his job at work. And he helps cook when he gets home if I'm really sick. He is a wonderful hubby and always has been.
Sorry for writing so much. The letter to the Mayo Clinic should get there sometime this week. Hopefully I will know by Friday if I actually get an appointment before 6 months from now; better than the other speciality clinic.
Thank you so much for your support and help when I'm clueless with all this stuff. Everything that is going on seems to be MS but I cannot dx myself- DH reminds me of this all the time. But ironically there are many reasons why I would have it. It is just frustrating. I just want an answer so I can get treated and move on with my life. Not that it would make things better- it would just be a relief knowing what we are dealing with.
Hugs to all of you. Everyone here is just wonderful!! Thank you for helping me while I'm in limboland of no-mands land in wonderland!?
coffeegirl