after much prayer and reflection, I have decided that a few simple cards, and a bunch of flowers will have to be as far as I go. To step further over that line risks the wrath of the current wife and her redneck, backwater, under educated, know it all, I am better than you, ways. After my ex remarried I used to tell my mother just how odd this woman is, and my mother would tell me I was making stuff up. After she met her, she told me she saw I was being quite kind. She really is an odd duck.

any money I give my ex to help with expenses or travel, or events will quickly be spent on booze.

any attempts at true or in person contact will only be viewed as intrusive, and start war. lets not even mention that I have MS and limited spoons.

Once upon a time when this man was a part of my life, I expressed to him then how wonderful I thought he was. We have exchanged letters twice a year now for about 12 years. he knows how I feel, and i believe he understands that its impossible due to his son, to show up and be supportive. I have listened to him shed many tears over the loss of his son to alcohol. This is a man who sees the best in every one. He has simply run out of nice things to say about his own son.

Thanks for the support. I have chosen to send a simple arrangement of flowers, and a couple of simple cards to his bedside. His home health aide said she would call me when he passes. That is the best I can do, and it will have to be enough. I must not beat myself up over not being able to do more.