Let me take a shot at this. I hope it comes out right.

Is bipolar a part of my personality? This is something my pdoc has been trying, unsuccessfully, to drill into my head. I have to learn to separate my symptoms from my true self. Therein lies the problem. I haven’t learned to relate to how my symptoms affect my behavior, so she says. That’s why I picked the name Me BP?, because I don’t know who “I” am anymore. I’m in there somewhere but who knows where.

She said in order to accomplish things I need to set goals, small ones. I need to ask myself questions like what brings me joy, what are my dreams, what do I want out of life, what motivates me, what would I do more if I could? Bottom line I need to see a future. I need to live a life without the interference of my symptoms. I see her again in two weeks and I’m supposed to bring back this form called a trouble tracker to help me rate my symptoms.

How can you accomplish this when people say things that are hurtful? That’s what I was referring to in the SOS forum when I said don’t people realize that sometimes words hurt more than slaps. Why do people say “What’s wrong with you?”, “Snap out of it”, “You’ll be fine”, and the best one…”Stop acting like a lunatic”.

But Bizi I don’t know really how to answer your question but you are a kind, caring, compassionate individual who’s reached out to me on more than one occasion. I don’t think it’s bipolar, it’s just Bizi.

I hope this makes sense. It's just words.