I just now was able to login and wow, I am truly touched by everyone leaving all those supportive and encouraging messages I am really really appreciative of everyone here whether you share your story or cheer from the side lines . I am feeling much better about it now that I know I will not be awake during surgery! It seems like a minor worry but its a big deal to me because during my revision I was awake much more and it was so awful I still even have nightmares about it sometimes. The really good news is that I get to keep my stim rep because it will still be boston scientific and he is even going to the surgeon appointment with me! I have a really special relationship with my stim rep he and I talk about way more than just my stim and we have both shared stories of our lives and since 08 when this all began, we have really gotten to know each other. He is very good to me and I am so glad he will continue with me!
When I saw all of your messages it did make me teary eyed and I felt so overcome with and support and just love for one another! I have never ever had this great of an experience from an online community such as this one! I really think NT has in a way saved my life! Sarah, thank you so much for stopping by and adding your thoughtful and kind words! I know you are going through a lot so it means a whole lot for me to see you on my thread
Rrae for being there to cheer me on and brighten my day! Thank you for saying that I won't be alone through this and also for motivating to keep fighting doctors, health care providers until I was able to finally get the best help possible! I am also appreciative because you are one of the first people to reach out to me and help me feel welcomed to this group!
kzlrogue for sharing your story with me! I am so very happy to hear that the stim has helped you so much and I agree I keep thinking about when I had it the first time and it worked so I am ready to experience it again! Also, congratulations for going back to school! That is really awesome and it made me feel very good when you said I inspired you You have also been an inspiration to me too because when I read your posting about being able to golf again it made me realize that I deserve to have a better working stim and that I also deserved to be able to do the things I used to enjoy again too!
jackie, you are so awesome because you also are very good at pointing out all of the good and showing me again that I have a fighting spirit. You like a lot of the others always know the right things to say to encourage me and cheer me up!
fionab, for cheering me on from the sidelines (that is also very much appreciated). I know that you are also going through a lot right now so thank you for sharing your support and encouragement! And of course thank you a HUGE thank you and Mark56, for sharing all of your experience with me and relieving some of my fears! I will probably have to go back through and read your whole thread again in between my studying and I am very thankful you do share your experience and story with us!
I still feel kind of in a daze over all of this but I am very determined that this will be a life changing surgery again and it will bring me closer to my goals of becoming a teacher and being able to be a mother as well. It was funny because my doctor and stim rep kept saying that well you know this might not work and it might not help you and I just told them that I know it is going to work! I am holding on to that belief this whole process no matter how scared I get or nervous this is going to work and this is going to change my life!!!! Its also a very different situation for me to have people to lean on while I go through surgery because I do have my husband and family but with you all it is different because you can all understand to different degrees this process and can give me great advice along the way! I am so very thankful I came to NT (because my initial posting was scary for me too) and have met all of you! I love how we can vent here or get support or just share our triumphs and letdowns because even through it all we are always still here for each other, and it feels so good to know I won't be alone