Loneliness can be made more intense by what you tell yourself it means.
Young people are particularly susceptible to the following misconceptions regarding loneliness:

"Loneliness is a sign of weakness, or immaturity."

"There's something wrong with me if I'm lonely. These should be the best years of my life."

"I'm the only one who feels this way."

If you believe these misconceptions you may believe that loneliness results from a defect in your personality. Research suggest that young people who think of loneliness as a defect tend to have the following difficulities:

* greater difficulty in taking social risks, in asserting themselves, in making phone calls to inititate social contact, in introducing themselves to others, in participating in groups, and in enjoying themselves at parties.

* less skill in self-disclosure, less responsiveness to others, and a greater tendency to approach social encounters with cynicism and mistrust.

* more likelihood of evaluation themselves and others in negative terms and more tendancy to expect others to reject them.

They often report feeling depressed, angry, afraid, and misunderstood. They may become highly critical of themselves, overly sensitive or self-pitying, or they may become critical of others, blaming others for their situations.

When these things happen, lonely people often begin doing things which perpetuate their loneliness. Some become discouraged, lose their sense of desire and motivation to get involved in new situations, and isolate themselves from people and activities..

________University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign