I have definitely been there... in that dark and lonely place. I've been through major depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts (more than I'd like to admit/remember), and years of self-injury.

I am not at that place now.. but it certainly doesn't mean I haven't been there or never notice myself slipping back into that spot.. I just have been able to ward it off pretty well for the last few years. Even though I am generally happy (not saying that people who struggle with depression can't be happy, but I sure wasn't when I was struggling), I still have bad days where it would be very easy for me to go down that slippery slope.

I just had a big realization today... so much has happened this weekend. Our basement flooded twice, my mom and I were both sick, my computer totally crashed, my mom and I fought, my brother got in a car accident, I had some symptoms that felt like a very serious medical problem--was sure it was going to kill me, etc. etc. etc. It was a bad weekend and every time we turned around, one more bad thing happened.

I have been irritable and weepy... and while I've always been an emotional person, this weekend, I have just felt like an emotional wreck. It doesn't feel like depression--I don't feel hopeless or incredibly sad. But man, I can usually keep things under control, and this weekend I have felt that everything was totally out of control. It wasn't until I was searching for an answer on something (whether or not to get a flu shot while on steroids) that I made the connection--the pharmacist said that these steroids would most likely cause mood changes. DUH! I feel a bit better knowing that it is a side effect of the medicine... though my doctor plans to keep me on this long term, so somehow, I am going to have to learn to deal with all of these low points in my mood. No idea how... but I have to try.

I am always here to talk to or pray for you guys in the bad times (as well as the good). As I said, just because right now I am not struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, I have been there--for years on end. I love you guys, and will always do what I can to lend an ear or a supportive hug. Please feel free to talk to me (any of you) if you need someone to talk to. I would be honored to stick by your side in a time of need.