Dear Steve

i used to be around at night (my night, your evening) but i am resetting my hours... i just missed you last night. i'm glad others were here.

good job. it is hard to start with new people, especially when they come and go. but it is the way to go. you explained the current problem, with the hobbies and the equipment pretty well in this post. you can tell him/her what you told us. i also hear a lot of social discomfort, esp with the workers... you not feeling good about yourself.

doesn't your brother own the property? has he told you he wants the equipment down? has he given you any reasons? maybe he is just blowing hot air and is not really that serious?

as for the workers, i grew up with ridicule and i am afraid of it. so i know this fear. but we just have to stand up to it as best we can. those workers surely have their own problems, and may not think about you that much. and they might think completely different things. they may think you're a shy kinda guy. i bet more than a few will be wowed out by all the equipment on the roof!! many things can go on in people's heads. when we don't feel good, we tend to think bad things are going on in others' heads.

remember God loves you just as you are. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might, and love your neighbor as yourself." a friend of mine once pointed this last bit out to me... we are being taught to love ourselves here.

one thing at a time. first work on this imminent thing that is bothering you right now with preserving the hobbies that are your outlet for feeling ok.

i am glad you have been talking to your friend, and i am glad you posted tonight. i will be sending you good thoughts.

~ waves ~