Hi I am sorry your husband is struggling. I know this also has an impact on you as well. You are a good wife to research and support him. There are many other meds to try so I would suggest your husband talking to his pain doc about trying others that could give him relief but also allow him to function better. Has he looked into other types of treatments? That I would suggest as well. How does he feel his pain doctor is? I have tried so many meds like neurontin etc. Some it was about finding the right dose and gradually increasing. Some were not the right med for me. It does take time.
As for the approach with your husband I guess I would encourage you to ask your husband how you can help him. I know this impacts you too and I know when my pain is high I am not pleasant to be around. I do feel when someone asks me what I need from them and does not push me that works better. Everyone is different of course but I feel that rsd and the pain makes me feel like I have no control of anything so in the ways I can have some control it makes me feel better. Is your husband on board or able to also take initative in researching what may help him? On the days he feels up to it it may help him feel better about having a plan in getting to a better place. Hope I made some sense. I am going on lack of sleep for many days. So sorry if I am not. Wishing better times for both of you