Gromlily,

Just a few thoughts, why don't you put in some calls, emails or both to your state senators,representatives and your govenor. You could always do an interview with your local TV station, plead your case (most TV stations like to pick up stories like this and usually have someone that handles consumer complaints). You also could have a story run in the local paper.
The insurance company should also be told that this is what you are going to do, maybe you won't have to do any of these, if you call and drop a bug in their ears about these different ideas. Don't let this sound like a threat, but a promise if you don't get action.

It is so unfair that insurance companies,doctors, etc feel they can treat us like we are insignificant. What would your insurance company do if you took your husband to a PM doc? Would they pay?

This is the best I can do, hope it helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!