Here's hoping you get accepted for the volunteer work, Majo!
it sounds wonderful...
and, btw, no matter how much mess you made, much better to hurt material things than yourself... sure, you still need to understand the anger, but you made progress in terms of what you are doing with the anger, imho.
doing stuff to things (throwing, hitting, whatever) etc is more of a letting out, than putting it back into yourself.... one step at a time... and it is a good letting out already, because it is not taken out on other people or living beings... not causing more hurt.
love
~ waves ~