Quote:
Originally Posted by Toni S
Hi Mark,
No punt intended but "Damn I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one". It's also nice knowing another person with PCS/mTBI has been through, knows & can understand first hand what & how I feel.
For the longest time & sometimes still, I was so afraid my biggest fear just may have actually became a reality for me. I really thought & believed I was "loosing my mind".
Even though it's been almost 4 yrs, I'm really "just getting started" with educating myself on ways to "simplify things in my life". I'm sure I'll continue the insanity of going in circles for a while until I get used to & learn how not to but..."it is what it is" thought right??
The hardest part for me is acknowledging, surrendering & accepting. I've always been just as stubborn as a fighten mule about everything....guess that parts not changed, I suppose!!
Oh and hey, thanks a million for the feedback about the spaces & paragraphing!!! Hell, no wander it took me all damn day to write my post!!! My poor eye balls kept bouncing all over the place like 2 little ping-pong balls!!! ... Much better!!
Yesterday I felt like I was just out & out angry period. At any & everyone I felt like being angry at, wether they deserved it or not....maybe it's a good thing I was home alone until about 8pm!!!
Today I was exhausted for being so mad all day yesterday.....Lol, "that's what my angry-*** gets"!!! I did manage to "actually complete" a couple chores today though!!
Tomorrows another day....
--Toni
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Hi Toni,
I couldn't make it through your initial post ~ sorry. I definitely agree with paragraphing or spaces every few sentences. Much easier to read ~ and write.
The challenge for me was acceptance. I really did not want to accept the reality of permanent effects of my brain injury. The more I tried to fight the reality, the harder I struggled to just make it through each day. Accepting reality isn't an overnight process, particularly with less-obvious "mild TBI". Engulfing myself in professional papers and news reports didn't help much either.
It was just a slow emotional process that I had to go through myself. I can read those papers and books about TBI and PCS more easily now. (My brain surgery was 3/06 and TBI was 3/07) Yep, I suffered all of the side effects for a while. The difficulty with memory is universal and incredibly frustrating for almost all of us.
We do get to a point of acceptance of the difficulties though, which makes life a lot easier. I do, however, still have moments of major frustration. They are less intense now though, and I come back to the present moment more quickly.
With my acceptance came more ease in telling people to slow down, when they're talking to me. Or ask them to put things in different words. I ask for a couple of minutes to let my brain work when my mind is blank. The blankness is a warning to me that i need to slow down.
Just getting to know these aspects of how my brain works and accepting it has made life more comfortable for me. Hope that all makes sense to you.
I wish you the best!
Shez
