Originally Posted by findingmyself

I dont know where to begin today. I am feeling so low right now and i dont know how i got here. Well i do know but i feel as if i m in a fog right now and i cnat find my way out of this. It started 5 yrs ago when i got the diagnoises of bipolar and then my world went upsdie down for the next few yrs. I thought i was doing good and just a moody person. till one day i lose touch with reality andit was all brought to the surface of many yrs of denail. I had two kids that i was caring for and myself so i didnt have time to take care of myself mentally. But as we all know bipolar doesnt wait till your ready to take care of it. I started treatment adn i really thought that i would be better soon. However it was shown to me that i was dead wrong, because here i am 5 yrs later and still struggling. I am now struggling with depression more thani have ever have. teh good part is that the mood swings are under control at this point. But God i cant shake this gloomy empty feeling that lingers everyday. I really feel like i am just takeing up space here lately. I do nothing all day. The highlight of my day would be if i go to the store or have a doc appt these days. I have lost my kids to theri fathers becasue of me not being able to care for them the way that they needed to be cared for. I dont work anymore . SO i just exist everyday