Darn it. I just answered an email to my daughter and some of the frustration of the day came out. I shouldnt have even opened it. The day has been too scary and painful. The worry around my mom and her worsened health and my worsened breathing now as I tried to help.

This is one of those days that the scary thoughts come. That me being this disabled is hurting everyone I love. I know this is normal for how intensely deep in 'awful' this past few days have been so I just get thru and be gentle with myself. Hybernate.

I am likely gonna have to sleep sitting up tonight.....and my arm hurts so so bad cause the new aid decided to make my bed not understanding that she was completely deconstructing all the pillows and blankets and knee lift I need to support me at nite so I can easily get into bed and go to sleep. I dont quite understand why she felt the need to move every sinlge thing in my bed to a different place. I had to put it all back together which injured my right shoulder worse than it was. She is very very nice but this was only her second time. I was on the phone with my sis so she did alot on her own.

Hope you understand I had to share some of this. I so deeply pray that my mom lives thru these next weeks so I can regain some strength. I missed my dads funeral cause I was in the hospital with an mg crisis. I need it to be better this time.

Annie59