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Old 10-15-2010, 11:10 PM
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fmichael fmichael is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: California
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fmichael fmichael is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: California
Posts: 1,239
15 yr Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigsav32 View Post
i think my title pretty much speaks for itself.just wondering if there are more like me?
There sure are. There's also a fair amount of interesting literature out there that's free for the taking and well worth the read, but I think these two are the best:
Empathic and nonempathic interaction in chronic pain couples, Cano A, Barterian JA, Heller JB, Clin J Pain 2008 Oct;24(8):678-84, FULL ONLINE TEXT @ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...ihms-43637.pdf
Abstract
OBJECTIVES: Empathy and empathic response are receiving greater attention in pain research as investigators acknowledge that other forms of interaction may impact the pain process. The purpose of this study was to examine validation and invalidation as forms of empathic and nonempathic responses in chronic pain couples.

METHODS: Participants were 92 couples in which at least one spouse reported chronic musculoskeletal pain. Each couple participated in 2 videotaped interactions about the ways in which the pain has impacted their lives together. Trained raters then coded interactions for each partner's use of validation and invalidation. Couples also completed surveys on spouse responses to pain, marital satisfaction, and perceived spousal support.

RESULTS: Correlations demonstrated validation by spouses of persons with pain was associated with punishing, solicitous, and distracting spouse responses to pain, marital satisfaction, and perceived spousal support. In contrast, spouses' invalidation scores were correlated with punishing spouse responses. Exploratory factor analyses were then conducted to determine the extent to which spouses' responses to pain and spouse validation and invalidation loaded on similar factors. Validation and invalidation are more closely related to punishing spouse responses than to solicitous or distracting spouse responses.

DISCUSSION: This work suggests that empathic and nonempathic communication are distinct from solicitous spouse responses. The findings have implications for theoretical and clinical work on social factors in pain.

PMID: 18806532 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE] PMCID: PMC2562912

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18806532

AND

A preliminary investigation of affective interaction in chronic pain couples, Johansen AB, Cano A, Pain 2007 Nov;132 Suppl 1:S86-95, FULL ONLINE TEXT @ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...nihms34584.pdf
Abstract
The objective of this preliminary study was to examine the extent to which affective marital interaction related to depressive symptoms in persons with chronic pain and their spouses and to pain severity in persons with pain. Couples from the community completed self-report surveys and engaged in a videotaped conversation on a topic of mutual disagreement that was coded for three affect types (i.e., anger/contempt, sadness, humor). Humor was positively related to marital satisfaction in both partners. Spouse anger/contempt and sadness were positively related to depressive symptoms in spouses. Several significant interaction effects between couple pain status (i.e., whether one or both partners reported pain) and affect also emerged. Specifically, sadness in the participant designated as the person with pain was associated with greater depressive symptoms and pain severity when only he or she reported pain whereas sadness was related to fewer depressive symptoms and less pain severity when both partners reported pain. The relationships between spouse anger and spouse depressive symptoms and between spouse humor and pain severity in the person with pain were also moderated by couple pain status. These exploratory findings can be interpreted in light of emotion regulation and pain empathy theories. For example, partners who have not experienced pain themselves may fail to empathize with persons in pain, thus preventing effective emotion regulation. When both spouses report chronic pain, expressions of negative affect may instead promote emotion regulation because the affect is experienced with a spouse who may be more empathetic.

PMID: 17521810 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE] PMCID: PMC2100025

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17521810
Bottom line: Heaven help the chronic pain patient whose partner is already inclined to depressive anxiety, the patient's pain will be just one more terrible thing that has gone wrong in the partner's life. And not only will that partner be unable to be empathetic, but the partner will shy away from intimacy of any kind with the patient, lest the partner think that s/he may actually feel any of that pain.

If ever there was a situation that called for professional marital/couple therapy, this is it. I just hope that other people have better luck getting their partner into (and staying with) therapy than I did.

Mike
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"Thanks for this!" says:
AintSoBad (10-17-2010), cindi1965 (10-18-2010), SandyS (10-16-2010)