Hi bigsav, I understand what you are saying. I would say a lot of us have felt that way, at least in the beginning. It was only after doing his own research did my husband even begin to understand RSD. He has read a lot on NT and gone with me to my psych and started to be more understanding. It's better now, but agree that it would be difficult to know what RSD is like unless you have it. Some people are inwardly more compassionate than others. Something that may help is to express yourself in how you feel. And how you feel when he doesn't seem to understand. Tell him what you need from him, ways that he can show love and compassion and how much you need it. Ask him what you can do to help him know what you are going thru.
This condition is like a lot of other conditions, like losing your limbs-not being able to walk, run. Losing our health is devastating. We go thru a grieving process and learn how to cope with various losses. Reading a book on grieving may help. I spent 2 plus years of weekly and twice a week when my parents died. It also helped me when I lost my health thru RSD.
Please let us know how you are doing and how we can be of support. One of your new friends, loretta