I find talking to people helps a lot. I almost don't experience the pain as long as I'm talking. Unfortunately I hate phones and can't get out at night so I'm stuck except during the day.

It's very important to find things you can do and want to do. It can be very difficult when depression takes the wind out of your sails but there's always something even if it's just to soak your hand in warm water or read.

Depression is a constant struggle especially as we mourn the lives we lost. It's important though to keep struggling and hope for the best. Fight the symptoms by addressing them individually and fight the disease by learning your triggers. There's probably a way to turn this thing off and while you nor I might find it I'm sure we'd both like to be there when it is found.

I can't take any of the antidepressants because they cause gastrointestinal distress And most are ineffective) but I'm about ready to try cymbalta again. It caused the least trouble so when my guts get back to normal I'll have another go at it.

In some ways the depression is the worst part of this and you need to do anything you can to feel better.

Best wishes.