Jeffrey,

You should have access to Private Message to me. If there is something you want to say but not in public, say it by a PM. Click on my name at the upper left and you will see a drop down box with Send a private message (PM)

I am looking up your meds. You have a very strong mix of meds. Have you tried weaning off any of them? You might ask about trying to wean off everything but the Venlafaxine. It can be tough to wean off but it also may be the one that is doing the most good. Your other meds are likely to overcome the side-effects of your other meds.

The overlap of side effects of the P, M, D, and Z is almost item for item.

I would also suggest less meetings with the doctors and such. You are being constantly reminded of your struggles. It does not appear that they or the meds are helping you cope.

When you attempt to meet people, don't be afraid to mention in passing that you have struggles due to a brain injury. You can say that sometimes you make make strange comments or faces (I tend to grimace when I get confused) Your comment should be more to ask that they try to disregard the oddities.

When you walk your dog, don't worry about remembering faces. Just be cordial and greet them with a smile and hello. You don't even need to explain your brain injury when you say you have a difficulty putting a name to a face. Just say " I'm sorry. I forgot your name again." Being straight forward is well received compared to acting like you know their name but are fumbling.

People appreciate it when you ask them their name. It shows you have an interest in knowing who THEY are.

Drop the negativity about labels. Everyone can be labeled. You are who you are regardless of labels. I'd rather be remembered as the odd ball than not be remembered at all.

A person in a wheel chair is labeled. Some think they are disabled. My wheel chair bound friend would deny the label of disabled. She only wants the label just enough to get a parking spot where she can have room to get her wheel chair out of the car. Her wheel chair is just an inconvenience to her, and hardly that.

There is a saying. "If we only knew how little others think about us, we would stop worrying about what they are thinking about us."

Tall, short, fat, skinny, blond, brunette, etc mean nothing compared to the way you greet someone with a smile.

Regarding your routines. I would suggest you stop watching TMZ. It is all about the fake appearance and life of others. It can twist your perception of life.

Real people do not live TMZ lives.

Keep saying hello with a smile. Eventually, you will find your confidence improves. Casual relationships like passing routinely on the sidewalk are good. If there is an opportunity to help someone, offer to do so. Be casual and willing to back away from those who are anti-social or fearful of casual contacts. It is rarely a comment about you.

Stop worrying about the future. You have no control over it. All you can do is react or accept the present. People in a brain injury support group are there to connect with others. Most take time to connect. It is the nature of a brain injury. You can sit and observe or become an active participant. You may be active at one meeting but reserved the next time. They will know what you mean when you say you are having or had a bad day.

Yes, I still drive but only in specific conditions. I do not drive during congested traffic hours. I do not drive if I have any question about my cognitive strength. I do not drive highways. 35 to 40 is about my limit for speed. My brain does not process faster speeds well. I cannot drive cushy cars. My brain forgets I am driving. I need a car that gives me feedback so I stay focused on driving.

I live is a rural to suburban area. Mostly just two lane roads. The tallest building in town is only four stories. Definitely not a congested area. People complain about a ten mile commute taking 20 minutes.

I moved here because I was getting overloaded with the congestion and chaos in San Jose, California.

A though for you. The lower the density of population, the more tolerant people are. If you get a good disability rating, you might consider living in a quieter area. It can make a big difference in your ability to enjoy life.

Here in Idaho, we have miles of foot paths for walks, with or without pets. Many communities are much more comfortable for those with struggles than New York City.

There are fabulous VA Hospitals all over the country. We have a top rated one here in Boise.

Maybe a change of scenery is what you need.

My father-in-law (FIL) did great when he moved. He had dementia due to Alzheimer's. He was frustrated in his home town because he knew he should know the people he met but his memory was gone. When he and MIL moved away, everything was new. No feelings of forgetfulness. He also met a community of retired veterans that were very welcoming.

Try to think positively about your future. Even with declining health, there are positive ideas. Finding a home where you can grow old. Meeting others in a similar situation. If you fail to plan, nothing will happen that you like.

Try making notes or lists with questions about your future. Then try to answer them with opportunities that exist.

What are your skills? What are your weaknesses? How can you plan a life that utilizes your skills and minimizes your weaknesses?

If we don't plan our futures, someone else will. One way or the other.

My best to you.