the risk of this coming across completely the wrong way, I have to ask.

Has an+one else after suffering through 5+ years of horrible chronic pain, having me their future husband during that time and basically had their life become about pain, feared getting better?

I never felt this way before but now as the date fr my 5 day ketamine approaches, I find myself worrying about the craziest little things. I guess I almost feel like I can no longer remember who I was before the pain.

I know my daily habits and routines have come to revolve around the pain to the point where I fear almost afraid, as though I've lost a part of me (of course, a horrible part, but nonetheless, a part).

That said, I am tremendously grateful to the wonderful help I have received from numeromerous doctors, neighbors, my fianceel, etc...

Maybe I'm also getting my hope up a litte too high as well which is something I'm renowned for.

It's funny I guess but I suppose the pain had become the one constant in my life the past few yrs. It'S been a long nightmare, one which I hope will be coming to a close yet at the same time, there i weird, unsettliing fearllllllllllll

Just curious, does anyone else feel this way?

Dawn