I've also considered that those weird feelings and anxiety of "What will I do if this does fix me" is just a subconcious way of NOT DEALING with the alternative......."What if this doesn't work.

When we try so many treatments and get our hopes up so often only to have them dashed, I think it's reasonable that our psyches search for a way to protect us from further disappointment.

My mom has thought it odd that I don't seem to get excited anymore about trying a new pain clinic or treatment. I'd rather just try to carry on each day and have a life. I'm not going to sit by the phone (well, maybe I am, but only because it's less pain to hang out in my chair) waiting for the call that WC has approved my next pain clinic appointment. Who knows how long that will take ? Then I'll have to wait for an appointment for an eval. Then hope the docs come up with a great idea. Then wait for WC to approve the treatment. Then wait for the treatment appointment. If I held my breath waiting, I'd be in deep doodoo Mom still calls every night to see if I've heard anything yet......like I wouldn't call her as soon as I do hear !

So......right now, I'm in the "it's out of my hands, no use fixating on it" ignore the possible new treatment until it happens mode.

I'm sure when something comes up, I'll be back to freak out with weird thoughts mode.

I think it's important to realize many of us may have 'atypical' responses or thoughts because we are under such stress. There are no 'wrong' reactions.

That's what I love so much about this community. When you are feeling alone and like no one can understand......most of us have BTDT