Something I havent said here is that I am scared of doctor involvement. Being scared is not a thing a I do well. I am so so sick today. I have had 3 doses of mestinon this morn and my chest is still shut down.

I was doing the total rest thing but my daughter scheduled a sit down with my Social worker for my handicap aid 2 weeks ago for noon yesterday. She doesnt get that what may seem like a brief appointment that I would do nothing at could turn out just the opposite. All the talking I had to do for questions that came up has set me back again.

I am admittedly very scared. To be this sick with the neuro I have and being so bad in my chest that I really shouldnt speak and really can't for more than a few moments makes it worse. Last nite I cried as it feels like yet another part of my body has been stolen from me by this disease...my voice. And how do I advocate for myself if I cant talk.

I started a list the 2 days ago of what I was afraid of with going into the hospital. What I would need to feel less concerned if this happens. Maybe I can share more about this later. Right now I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff.

Annie59