Hi Peg,

Ask you to leave? I seriously don't think so as that would be totally against why this forum even exist. I know I'm not alone in saying you have a very complex situation that is far beyond our capabilities to really provide assistance. However, we still can support you as human beings.

It's obvious by the length and detail of your posts you have very few outlets for your emotions. So if you write long post, well then, we just take more time to read them. Big deal!

I would suggest you also get involved with the Depression forum, and the General Mental Health & Emotional Support forums. This will provide additional outlets, different insights from other people, and additional support.

Finally, personally being a student of personal development and self-improvement you need to seriously consider changing your attitude and resulting actions toward people, FIRST. Why? You have become a self fulfilling prophecy in your own life based on your expectations of other people and victimized mentality. In essence, no one can make you feel inferior or disrespected without your permission.

I would seriously suggest three immediate actions.

1) Start reading positive books such as, "The Difference Maker," by John C. Maxwell; "Attitude is Everything," by Keith Harrell; "Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude," by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone; "The Success Principles," by Jack Canfield.

2) Initiate a total negative environment house cleaning by intentionally removing toxic people, watching negative news on TV, expecting the worst of every situation, look for the best, and make a conscious effort to recognize when you are experiencing negative thoughts, reactions, and act just the opposite.

3) Smile as often as you can at yourself in the mirror, to other people, and no matter what the situation. Just Smile!

"YOU" have total and absolute power over your own thoughts and creating your own attitude. To not do any of the above for any reason indicates you love being miserable and are not willing to change for your own good. I read a constant theme of blaming every thing and every body else in your lengthy posts. But, ask yourself this one question, "Who is present at the scene of each and every crime in your life?" You will then have your answer.

This is nothing more than making a "choice," followed by a solid "decision" and positive "action." The choice is yours. Choose wisely.