Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho

Supreme,

PCS can cause a flat personality or even a roller coaster personality. I have to 'mechanically' portray an acceptable personality. Many social skills do not flow naturally for me anymore. I have to mechanically sort of fake it.

Medications can also cause a flat personality.

A common diagnosis with PCS is schizoid personality disorder. It is where the person does not properly connect with others. Wikipedia will have a more complete definition. I have two thoughts about a schizoid diagnosis. Is it a physiologically caused disorder or is it a coping mechanism? When you get easily overwhelmed in social situations, many tend to back away from social contacts. Sort of a chicken and the egg issue. Which came first?

Something I need to do is rehearse my comments in a social conversation. If I just blurt them out, I make mistakes and get confused. I also often tend to repeat myself.

This slower response can provide an opportunity to comment with a more thoughtful comment.

Regarding flirting. You still have your eyes. I believe the most impressionable flirting comes from a woman's eyes. After 30 years, my wife's eyes can still do it to me. Subtlety can also be interesting to others. You don't need to be "Chatty Kathy." The things you learn as you observe instead of talk can be very good for relationships. There is a saying. "God gave us two ears and one mouth. We should use them in that proportion."

As you look at your friendships, you will likely see that a good portion are based on idle chat. Very few are based on in-depth conversations. The in-depth conversations are worth the time to slow down and think about your comments.

I have to remember the old adage: Better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.

Personally, I wonder what so many people have to talk about for such a long time. The lady with her cell phone implanted in her ear as she drives makes me wonder. There is a new term for children. Some are cell phone orphans. They have to compete with mom's constant talking on the cell phone. I have even sat at a stop light and watched people on their cell phones "listening" to the other person. Seldom do their lips move.

So, use your time to become a good listener. Great listeners are rare. They can make careers of listening and get paid big bucks.

Think about this. By listening, you can sometimes just say a few words that speak paragraphs to the other person. My wife's favorite comment is "Help me understand." It does two things. It shows you are interested in the other person's comments plus it causes the other person to think more deeply about what they just said.

There is a Bible verse that says, " Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. " Matthew 5:5

We do not lose by being quiet.

My best to you.