They are not your servants??? So perhaps YOU are not their chauffeur, chef, and maid. Let them take care of themselves for a change while you take care of YOURSELF. It's the only way they are going to learn that you are important, too.
It sounds like your husband may have set a tone of disrespect in the household, which they naturally adapted. Only by sticking up for yourself are you going to start to win some battles. Respect is earned. You say you waited for your kid to get out of football practice, only to learn that he got a ride from someone else?? Time for some tough love. Let him walk home next time!! And you were in PAIN?? What a little ####head!!
That said, I have 2 ####heads of my own!! My 16 yo would try the patience of a saint!! But honestly, if he pulled a stunt like that, it would happen only ONCE. I would NEVER show up to pick him up again. He could walk home, or quit football for all I care....
You may want to schedule some counseling for yourself. I did. I needed to get my head on straight after I got so sick with RSD. There's so much that I needed help figuring out, especially the kids (not that I was very good with them to start with!!) The dynamics are just so different when you are sick and need help.
I truly understand where you are coming from, and wish you the very best of luck. And have an awesome time in Key West!! Go chill and forget all about your problems - and let the babaysitter clean up your house!!
XOXOX Sandy
Quote:
Originally Posted by finz
I should preface this by saying that I do know I have a lot to be grateful for. While my pain control isn't where I'd like it to be, it's soooooo much better than it was a few years ago. And I have a big vacation coming up ! I leave for a week in Key West for a parrothead convention on Monday.....Woo Hoo !
My vacation plans are part of the problem. I'm trying to get the house a little picked up so my 'babysitters' for my 14 and 16 yo old boys won't be totally disgusted. While my house is not quite bad enough for an episode of 'Hoarders' we could definitely star in an episode of 'Clean House' Trying to engage my kids to help is like pulling teeth. I ask them to take some of their stuff to their room and they pick it up only to dump it the next room over......out of my sight temporarily. If I could easily move around from room to room to follow them, I could have done the job myself !
Now some of the mess is mine.....and I have been trying hard to work on that, but my efforts have been hampered. My husband already left for the trip. He went a week early to go fishing. Not that he would do any of the cleaning, but normally he would be the one going to the grocery store, cooking dinner, and driving the kids to all of their activities. Monday I spent the whole day driving around. My 14 yo's friend's father passed away, so I got him dismissed from school, took him to the funeral mass, then the burial, then the 'post party' I had an hour to collapse at home then off to bring the 16yo to guitar lessons......all the while not able to take pain meds because I was driving, causing a massive flare. Tuesday night spent an hour waiting for the 14 yo after football practice, only to eventually find out he got a ride home from someone else. Tonight it was trying to get the 16yo to unpack the dishwasher, so it could be loaded again to clear some room so I could make dinner when I got home from the football pickup, only to have it still not done when I got home.......and both of the bitching because dinner was so late.
After dinner, when I asked for some help picking up, my 16yo INFORMED me that "this you being sick thing is really getting old. It was okay in the beginning, but we are sick of doing crap for you that mother's are supposed to be able to do......we are not your servants."
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