You're not the maid. Either the family works together or they're probably tearing it apart. Why worry about Christmas shopping? It sounds like there are other things that warrant your labors instead. Maybe it's time the kids and even your husband take a closer look at their responsibilities as a cohesive unit instead of you rewarding them for having done nothing.
Ironically enough you're being forced to live in a home that's what some might call in a constant state of confusion which only makes your health problems worse. If there's anything I've learned about being chronically disabled, it's that the more organized I am, the easier it is to live daily life. When I think about how much time you waste each day hunting high and low for things you should be able to just lay your hands on, it makes me want to cry.
Maybe it's time to teach your family a little cause and effect? The reason your lifestyle is less than comfortable is because the family won't work together or is that work at all? The effects are that things only get worse over time, not better. It's always easier to keep a clean house clean than it is to clean a dirty house. I never really clean our place, but my wife and me are constantly putting around and taking care of things as they hit instead of putting it off till tomorrow that never really comes.
While there's not doubt you need a vacation, it sounds like some priorities need to be realigned. How can anyone have a good time anyplace else when they know they're coming home to a blooming mess they haven't taken care of in the first place? Today my heart really does go out to you. Now go and find the baseball bat and see if you can motivate anyone to start living life in a more organized manner. Bob.
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Originally Posted by finz
I should preface this by saying that I do know I have a lot to be grateful for. While my pain control isn't where I'd like it to be, it's soooooo much better than it was a few years ago. And I have a big vacation coming up ! I leave for a week in Key West for a parrothead convention on Monday.....Woo Hoo !
My vacation plans are part of the problem. I'm trying to get the house a little picked up so my 'babysitters' for my 14 and 16 yo old boys won't be totally disgusted. While my house is not quite bad enough for an episode of 'Hoarders' we could definitely star in an episode of 'Clean House' Trying to engage my kids to help is like pulling teeth. I ask them to take some of their stuff to their room and they pick it up only to dump it the next room over......out of my sight temporarily. If I could easily move around from room to room to follow them, I could have done the job myself !
Now some of the mess is mine.....and I have been trying hard to work on that, but my efforts have been hampered. My husband already left for the trip. He went a week early to go fishing. Not that he would do any of the cleaning, but normally he would be the one going to the grocery store, cooking dinner, and driving the kids to all of their activities. Monday I spent the whole day driving around. My 14 yo's friend's father passed away, so I got him dismissed from school, took him to the funeral mass, then the burial, then the 'post party' I had an hour to collapse at home then off to bring the 16yo to guitar lessons......all the while not able to take pain meds because I was driving, causing a massive flare. Tuesday night spent an hour waiting for the 14 yo after football practice, only to eventually find out he got a ride home from someone else. Tonight it was trying to get the 16yo to unpack the dishwasher, so it could be loaded again to clear some room so I could make dinner when I got home from the football pickup, only to have it still not done when I got home.......and both of the bitching because dinner was so late.
After dinner, when I asked for some help picking up, my 16yo INFORMED me that "this you being sick thing is really getting old. It was okay in the beginning, but we are sick of doing crap for you that mother's are supposed to be able to do......we are not your servants."
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