Thanks for the input gang !

D......I have tried family therapy with the kids before. Hubby refused to participate (big surprise). It took a few tries to find a therapist that was a good fit. We eventually did, but the kids still didn't really take it very seriously. We stopped for awhile because of the huge bills when I had to cancel appts with less than 24 hour notice d/t bad pain days when I couldn't drive and hubby refused to. I've had problems with the 16yo over the summer with him getting physical with me twice, so I called to try to restart therapy and now that therapist has left the practice.

There used to be therapists in our area that did home visits, but it seems like budget cuts have eliminated that.

Bob.......Yes, I do need to work on my cause and effect with having better consequences. I think I am guilty of severe procrastination.......maybe when I get to the next pain clinic they will be able to offer me more help and then I will get my crap together. Unfortunately, I've spent years putting off direct confrontation of this. Time for a new plan !

Call this my coming out party......now hold me to it guys !