Last year after some rather life altering surgeries on my old body my wife's health also tanked and so our home for the first time in 26 years of marriage just wasn't a place I'd call home. Instead of having a picture perfect 24 hours a day type home, we were living in an absolute state of confusion. The worse the house became the unhappier I was. Then my family over 2,000 miles away said there were two solutions. Either they come back complete with both legs and a strong back and get our place put back together or they hire someone that would save them hours of flight time and who'd be around forever more. After one week of having a lady and guy help me get the major stuff reorganized we then found a great lady who comes in just once a week for 4 hours that takes care of all the chores I just can't make this old body of mine do anymore. Our world changed and once again I'm sane.

It's not that we don't still have our chores, but I had to admit the sad fact that I just couldn't do everything I use too. A huge amount of humility was due and I was the one who had to learn it. Now my family sends me a check for $250 a month and I've got my wonderful Shannon who helps us keep our home ready for company - no matter when they drop by. Instead of paying psychologists to "talk" it over, you're in need of a more physical type help. It sounds like your money would be much better spent with some who'd help you physically get your home and life back in order. Then get the baseball bat out when the rest of the family starts to make "their" mess.

Your second posting about your kids being upset over "you" not doing what "you're" suppose to do is what pushed me over the top. It's time they learn that life isn't a free lunch program and that we spend our entire lives working out tails off for whatever little amount of security we finally manage to build up over decades of laborious hard work. Taking care of ourselves and home is just a part of the big picture along with years of often boring and tiring work that at times gets us nowhere. If they'll just learn that labor is a good thing, not some horrible thing to avoid, they'll find out that life is a whole lot more enjoyable across the board. If there's something such as play stations or TV or anything else that's stopping them from being a productive part of your family, maybe it's time they go away till they finally start pulling their own weight. I know they'll scream bloody murder. Let them, but meanwhile you'll be on the path to sanity. Getting our lives back in order isn't always easy, but it's darn well worth the effort no matter how painful. They either learn it today or later when they're out worrying about how they'll pay the bills, but they will learn it someday.

Part of being a great parent is to show them why working is really a great thing. Being broke in a filthy rat trap isn't much of a way to live, so maybe now's the time to show them why working hard is the only way to go.

Meanwhile, please get some help and then take whatever appropriate action that's necessary to keep your place cleaner and you more contented. Wishing you all the best and if you'd like my baseball bat it's on the way. I had kids too. Bob.