I'm right there with you both. Haven't talked to Mom in 10 years, haven't seen or heard from 5 sister or 2 brothers since 1989. The whole dysfunctional thing. I can relate to the Waltons wish. As a teen I loved that show and wished my family could be like them.

For 15 years I suffered terrible depression and loneliness, though I was married, had a kid, worked etc. A lot of it was the sadness of losing my entire family in pretty much one swoop in 1989. I felt a lot of guilt because of a "but they're your family" mentality. Like Dejibo says, it took a very loooong time to get over that loss.

I have never regretted cutting all ties to my family,In the end, after 30 years I'm free of their influence in any way. They are strangers to me, and I to them. I only found out about my dad's death by accident--I was doing genealogy on my family and the obit came up. My name had been omitted completely. My husband thought it was a nasty thing for them to do, pretend I was never born, but I wasn't really surprised.

I turn 50 in less than 2 months. I've been trying to deal with the big 50 since I turned 45 and realized I'd be 50 in only 5 years! I knew then that 5 years goes by faaaast. (If you'd like to talk about aging, PM me.)

I wish only good things on you and strength to keep going. You really only have two choices in life: give up, or keep going. But here's more hugs to give you strength.

peace