thank you all for your support.

i did not get into it yesterday because i was too tired.

the day was a mixed bag. some aspects rather upsetting.

the epilepsy center thing is probably not going to work out. they smoke in the office and i can't deal with that. and no windows, and winter. got impression maybe office manager (who smokes) either didn't like me for independent reasons, or realized that i have a problem with the smoke (physical problem: coughing fits leading to deep, dry, chronic cough.) sorry this is upsetting so i don't want to go on about it now, i know i have to talk to them about it... but it isn't so easy, big cultural thing.

my demons are not behaving. separate issue. don't want to explain. NOT a good thing. relative to focus: well, if you are impaired enough, the mind becomes fairly simplistic. that could be viewed as "focus" from the outside.

today i had a terrible time with public transport. interview went well but there seem to be some bureacratic/financial glitches with the end client (happens with body rental / multiple intermediaries) so, really no telling how it will go. you know, people are very attached to their budgets.

i had a very frustrating day yesterday
i had a very frustrating day today

that is all i have to say for now

good that i sound good.

doesn't quite match how i am doing. i cried yesterday morning at the bus stop. then yesterday afternoon i HAD to use lorazepam... andthensome. it is not my regular benzo that i take at night (which i increased). lorazepam (2.5mg sublingual) is my "OH $h!t" drug.... to give you an idea.

~ waves ~