I completely understand, and agree that the funeral is for the living left behind, not the dead who has left the building. We do funerals as a way to congregate, and support each other thru a tough time. While many people like to say they are doing it for the dead person, its not really true. We do it for those who are left wondering and scratching their heads. If you want to do something for that person, do it BEFORE they leave! Whether it be sending flowers, a letter, a visit, or making peace with or without them present.

I say God Bless you! take your trip. Stay on your trip. If you get word that mom has passed, offer a prayer where you are, or shed a tear for your loss at sea, but I would not come back, cut your trip short, or interupt your plans. If you are to contribute financially, make sure the plans are in place before you go for them to have easy access to the money. If you want to add something like a statement, prepare it now, and have someone trustred read it.

it sounds like you have made your peace while she is alive, and have no need to continue to do it should she pass on.