NeuroTalk Support Groups - View Single Post - Potentially Sticky Family Situation, What to Do?

PegMeerkatz · 11-06-2010, 06:52 PM

I addressed this partially in another thread but I too am strongly opposed to the whole "waiting for death" & "mourning" bit. I am no longer religious (or even spiritual for that matter) but in the religion I formally belonged to people devoted a week to grieving at home then for a year following the death attended service daily to mourn for the deceased. This is OVERKILL! (no pun intended)

I for one want to be remembered for the person I was when I was alive I DO NOT want someone's last memory of me to be dying in hospital bed or lying cold in a coffin.

I have left specific instructions for if I become terminally ill; who can & cannot visit what I would want from visitors etc. And in my final legal papers I have stated that I want to be creamated then on a certain date (which could be days, weeks or months after my actual death) certain special people in my life gather for what I have termed a "Celebration of Life". I have laid out the specifics of what this should entail. I have a friend who is willing to see that my wishes are carried out & she is listed legally as the liasion between myself (when I can no longer speak or advocate for myself) and the living (for lack of a better term).

I was controlled, manipulated & bullied by family for so many years & almost a year ago made the decision to "DIVORCE" a large portion of my family in order to perserve what is left of my sanity. The person who will serve as my "liasion" has been given specific instructions that my bio mom & her band of loony toons not even be notified when I pass.

I have had so much sorris in my life I feel that my death should be a "happy" passing hopefully to a better life.

Remember your parents as they were NOT as they are now.