Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe
Parents who survive the death of a child by suicide ask themselves hundreds of questions. Of these, the hardest question to answer may be this one: "Does the death of my child by suicide mean we were bad parents?"
Suicide flies in the face of every hope and dream we have for our children and for ourselves as parents. We expect our children to grow and thrive and contribute to society. We expect ourselves to nurture and sustain our offspring into productive adulthood. Every birth is accompanied by hope and expectation and joy. Death by suicide brings despair and great sadness and a sense of failure to the parents left behind.
By Steven Murphy, LOSS member Obelisk, Dec. 2009 Newsletter of The Loss Program, Chicago, Ill.
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This is a portion of an article from my sos newsletter from Dane County this month. It resounded with a lot of us who lost children to suicide.
This "ending" was such a contradiction of their lives and their love of life.
It brought on quite a few conversations at the last meeting and validated some of our claims to have been good parents and now, struggling to survive what they have wrought by their action. And it was pointed out to me, that while I seem to find some comfort in believing that Michael's act was an impulsive one....others struggle with their loved ones purchasing guns in the days prior to using them. 
The lesson is always the same one...do not do this to the people who love you...it ruins lives and we are forever changed. |
Alffe, from my own experience I'm beginning to think that BOTH premeditation and impulse are involved. Here's an interesting report on Japan's suicide forest:
http://www.vbs.tv/fr-fr/watch/vbs-ne...e-forest-v3--2 The forest guide has some valuable insights, among them that people who go to the forest and kill themselves do so immediately, without ceremony. Those who are ambivalent linger, usually do not go through with it. (He sees bringing a tent as a show of ambivalence; after all, if you are going to be dead in a short while, you don't need a tent).
At the same time, those who perform the act immediately and get it over with -- impulsively, if you will -- had to travel to the forest. They drove their car, took a bus; whatever. It's hard for me to say that their act was COMPLETELY done on an impulsive basis.
Tom