Thank you and everyone else for replying so quickly.

My mother will be 56 next month. She is a very stubborn lady who will only do things her way. Her idea of exercise is housework, which is not what she used to consider housework, just things like dishes, sweeping, swiffering, and dusting. And not all daily. She mostly sits in her chair all day long. When we (family members and doctors) tell her she needs to exercise she will only do small movements with an OT, but nothing on her own.

She falls once every one-two months, but her stubborn attitude stops her from using her cane. Her gait is very unsteady and she had to grab onto the walls, chairs, and tables as she walks through her house. Last week when her and my father made a surprise visit to my home (2nd flr apt) he had to push her up the stairs, I still am upset at him bringing her here as stairs are very hard for her. With her stubbornness she doesn't tell her doctors the whole truths of her symptoms. She is afraid of coming off "weak" and "old" (her words, not mine.)

As long as I can find a sitter for my 3 children I will definitely be going to her next infusion appointment or neurologist appointment. My father and her are not very proactive, "ask questions", type of people and just let doctors makes every little decision without knowing what's going on. It doesn't help everything that my mother is told, when she goes alone (which is usually what happens) she doesn't remember by the time she gets home.



Whats bothering me is, I am feeling overly guilty for not knowing the answers to what is going on with her illness. I should play a more active role. I am her oldest child, I am the one who will have to take care of final plans when she or my father pass in the (hopefully very far) future. I need to make more of an effort and help her more and know what exactly is going on with her care.
The guilt has been eating at me slowly for a while, but after my father's call to me today, it's been much worse..