Hey MommaDuck - Please don't let a moment of guilt enter your mind or heart. You have been a very young woman caring for 3 children.

Your father has only NOW indicated that he is in need of your assistance with your mother.

It was your role to be preoccupied with your young life, marriage (?), and raising of 3 little duckies.

They have not wanted or needed help until now - and you are responding as a very responsible young woman and daughter.

No Guilt necessary.

How do I know? Because I am your mother's age and stubborn like her.

I like to "believe" I can manage myself on my own. And, still do, despite all the grublings of docs, case workers, family, friends, etc. If I listened to every good wisher, I would be in a rocker with my life passing me by - in other words, in my mind, it would be OVER....UGH.

She pushes herself...to push away MS. She keeps busy with the little tasks as that is all she is probably capable of doing and yet it helps her keep believing that she is a viable and functioning adult still.

Do not try to "control" your mother but do get involved as to "help" her as
she is prepared to begin to let go of controlling herself.

Its a hard proceedure to let go...and let others...when you have enjoyed being the one (mother, wife etc) managing your family's life.

Spend time getting informed - as you are doing - put guilt aside - it has no place here and is not a necessary feeling. You are being a very responsible and caring daughter.

Your father may be starting to feel overwhelmed or scared about the disease and the lost of his wife's capabilities. He might need your comfort, courage, and support.

Your mother mostly needs her needs to be met-food, shelter, warmth, help with bathing, dressing. She needs a very calm, stressless environment, some entertainment- I cant stand to stay at home everyday-I go out even if it is only for a drive about town - breaks up the monotony of boredom - and all you can do about the medical is to learn and advocate to the best of your ability and trust in your doctors - as best as you can.

Finding a trustworthy doctor is the first priority for me. Then I do put my health in his hands all the while reading and studying up on this disease as I can - to keep tabs on doc doing what is best.

I have learned from nurses - that the actually better docs are usually the ones at the university hospitals who are very up to date on the research being done for their specific disease interest.

I am going to the university hospital next week to see one of these specialists. I have done the round of regular neuros.

Also, you can go to different universities online- Boston, texas, calif, florida etc and go to the university hospital and look up the docs and get a biography on their background of schooling, researches etc. Helps a lot.

Good luck - and its a joy to help a wonderful daughter as she begins to assume a more responsible position in her own parents life.

Its a role most children refuse and it takes a mature woman to react as you are so doing.

May God's blessings be with you and all your family.

You put a big smile in my heart - for your mom and dad in having raised such a loving daughter.