OK! I have to fess up here in light of Sally's great distinction.

I was receiving AARP application requests starting at 45 years old. I actually did join at at 50. Alas, things have not worked out as well as I would have liked with AARP. Just recently they said I had to reapply, but first must go through remedial elderly training because I wasn't sedentary, acquiescent, mild mannered, and maintaining a respectably quiet lifestyle and mental attitude.

My whole life has been nothing but remedial training. I swear God has sent me here a couple of times before. Geeez! You'd think I'd learn or they'd just give me a break!