to the best i know yes, this guy presented me honestly. if he did not, he did not involve me in any subterfuge, nor suggest i not show my resume nor anything of the sort.

as far as doing it on my own, well a lot of credit goes to this same consultant, with whom i'm actually contracting... he's been the one getting me interview after interview ... there's actually an inter-intermediary between him and the client i'll be working for... but this is how the industry is here, nothing strange about it.... "body-farming." anyway, this guy, the consultant i deal with, when i called after dumping witch woman to basically say i am throwing in the towel and looking for a teaching job, encouraged me to keep both doors open, and look in both fields, and whatever happened first. i told him i still needed a break, took 10 days off and called back saying, ok, you're right, let's do it. and this was the first thing he found me. but really, he could have just let me go when i said "no more" ... he gets credit for that.

not to mention the support you guys have given me. all of you have a part in this. you have all helped me keep on keeping on.

the consultant is writing my contract today, for a start date of wednesday and will be paying me regardless of when the client decides the start date is, because they haven't notified yet.

i got so anxious (i mean BAD - i was paralyzed) for some reason... going in to sign the contract. my folks say that is because it's the "commitment" step. i can't tell you the substances i am needing to ingest just to be able to do anything-other-than-curl-up-in-ball, though. i guess, it's a step. right now, whatever it takes to get over the bumps. one day at a time. i can't do it any other way.

heck, today, it's more like, half hour at a time.

i agree. i think what will give me the biggest self-esteem bump though, is earning my keep again. that's a biggie. my parents don't let it weigh on me AT ALL, it's not that - heck, they even give me pocket money - and i am grateful for them. But it weighs on me... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE that i have to rely on them... they are at an age where i would want them to be able to rely on me.......

thank you. i really thought it would never end. i better get going. i will answer other posts later...

thank you again (((Donna))), and (((Di))) thank you for stopping in to lend your cheer and support, much appreciated.

gotta run. well, ok, crawl. it's my best approximation of running.... hey, as long as i move.........



~ waves ~