I am so sorry. I don't know how you keep up with the day you stated. It sounds like you are the last on your priority list but right now need to be on top. I can relate to the comments made by family and why some of my family members I have little contact with. My grandfather tells me basically when ever we speak that my PN and RSD pain is my fault. In those words.
I wish I had answers other then to tell the family members who are saying this how you feel and what can help you. As for your dad I agree with the other poster. Also I thought through medicaid they offer help to older people at their homes. Sorry if I am wrong but you may want to look into that.
All your feelings are very valid. I think for me when mentally I see myself breaking I need to really focus on what I can do to make things better so I don't crumble. I tend to let things build up and then loose it. So could you reach out to a friend,are there other family members that could help you and your dad,etc? You are in my thoughts.