Annie,

I'm so glad that you understand that your daughter is staying quiet because she loves you so much that she's afraid. It is good that you know how much she cares. I know you miss her, but it is really wonderful how well you understand her.

The other day I was taking a little break on the floor on the way to bed. My husband, who was helping me, lay down there with me to keep me company while I got my strength up for crossing the rest of the living room. My 14-year-old daughter came and lay down with us companionably. Then her little brothers came through and just stepped over us without blinking an eye. It was hilarious. My children are young enough to take all of this, shall we say, in stride. (I have to say, though, that the reason we can all laugh at this is that no one here is afraid for me--I don't have any breathing trouble or anything scary like that, at least not yet.)

It may be that it's not until you're a mother that you understand how much you need your mother. My children are young, and take me for granted (as they should). Your daughter is grown and knows how much she needs you. I hope you two can find a way to reassure each other.

Abby