I had a deposition on Thursday and the Insurance Companies Attorney asked me (with a straight face of course ) if I had any hobbies. It has been so long since I have done anything but hurt that I couldn't think of any of them!!

I should have answered,Yes, trying to get treatment for this injury I incurred while doing my job; treatments that you people keep denying!! Oh no wait, that is my current job!!! Hobbies are: sleeping as I am too exhausted to do much more after I have spent a good portion of my day on the phone with the Insurance company, or a Doctor, or online trying to learn what is new and effective for my ever changing body due to the aforementioned injury and PAIN!!! from spending my time doing their job instead of focusing on recovering!!

I used to garden, sew, hike, horseback ride, do minor home repairs, crafts...

Those rides that Dawn mentioned, not on a Harley for me, but jumping in the car and heading to San Francisco to hike the overlook trail, or go to the beach, Bodega Bay for Clam chowder at the Sandpiper, whale watching... No more Lake Sonoma to jet ski and take the Dogs to play in the water... No more camping, trips out onto the bay or friends ski boats.

No more concerts and sitting on blankets, no getting out in crowds for fear of having my shoulders bumped. Not able to do all the ducking and dodging you do if you want to avoid being bumped into.

There are dozens of things to do to choose from where I live every weekend. Winery events with tastings and food pairings and/or music. Vintage Fesitvals, Mustard Festivals, Harvest Festivals all kinds of outside activities. Not for me any more. I don't have the energy, mobililty, or lack of pain to enjoy much less participate.

I wanted to tell this cute little innocent enough looking Attorney of how I had been robbed of my life, current and future, and all I could do was sit there and cry!!

No piano lessons, now that they kids are grown and gone, the traveling plans for Alaska, Europe, and even the USA that we haven't seen are gone. I sold my sewing machine,we sold the jet skis, the piano is next; our house is on the market. What else do I have to give up thanks to this injury and more aggravating and depressing, due to their lack of a timely response to it and a proper diagnosis and care!!??!!

Will I be able to hold my grandchild (they are trying !! woo hooo !! to get preggers!!) when he or she is born?? Am I going to be robbed of the type of relationship I had hoped for with my Grandchildren?? If not physically, we will be financially. I haven't worked for 4 years.DH had tl sell his business due to his CA. How will we afford to take them traveling as we had planned? We won't be able to afford to spoil them and lavish all the Grandmotherly splurges I had hoped for, (clothes, day trips to the city, toys etc.) I am sure this sounds like whining at this point, but it was something I have longed for as I worked while my own children were growing up and I wanted to be really get to enjoy the Grandkids since I felt like I had missed out so much on my own kids.

Any way, that 's my contribution to this thread. I am working on putting my life back into some semblence of order... trying to find a way to feel like I contribute to my marriage, my family, my community. Trying to move on.

But, yes... I miss the old days too.

G ~