I went today. 2 others besides me showed up. I was kinda happy I went because the speaker is married to the new neuro guy in a town close to me. I am happy to know I dont have to deal with the old dismissive dude anymore.

I went early so I could chat with her. She saw me come in and said "oh thank God! I was so afraid i was going to be sitting here all alone...again!" I told her that I showed early to have a chance to express myself to her. I went on to explain that.

1. I am NOT the facilitator nor do I want to be one. I dont want nor need the responsibilities of running a group. I dont wish to co-chair a group either. She responded that she didnt ask anyone to co chair. I told her it appears other wise. To put the level of guilt on the backs of a couple that do attend, with comments like "if you dont come the group will just have to fold" isnt fair. I too have MS and I too dont feel well, and I too have a real life that doesnt revolve around meetings, or activities planned or unplanned by anyone including my family. You CANT count on me to show up, so...please dont! I got a lecture on how strong we are as a team. I repeated myself that I am giving her notice. I will come and go as I please, when it suits ME, and not because it makes anyone else but ME happy. I am sorry if that hurts her feelings, but there it is.

2. some speakers are great, and some are horrible, and some have no business in an MS group, but since I dont pick um, I can only vote by showing up or not showing up. If folks are telling you to stop bringing them the quack snake oils cures, then why would you keep booking them? and then keep being mad at folks for not coming? if the speaker is fabulous and I am feeling great, I will be here. if not, please dont take it personally. I have MS! I dont make many important meetings in my life, let alone lectures.

3. please stop trying to force others to carry your workload. If you took this job on, then YOU took it on. If you refuse a co chair, then you get to handle ALL of it alone. I will no longer feel any responsibilty to fill out replies, play 20 questions about needs, or MS or whatever, only to find that you are throwing the info away, and following your own drummer.

last but not least 4 is that I HATE the fact that my inbox is now full of AVON come ons. Every 3 days I get an avon flyer reminding me how my MS leader is an AVON rep and how I can be one too! it offers me nothing special to order using your name, and I think its just sad that you pilfered names off an MS list to get customers! good gravy! as I finished saying that another woman with MS was walking in and she said "AMEN!" please stop sending me this crap. I dont want to buy make up, and if I did it wouldnt be avon.

The host seemed quite hurt. it stung, and I was thinking that perhaps I should have waited till after the meeting, but worried that I would be too tired or too distracted. So...there ya have it.

Thanks for all the support.