Oh Cat, it is much to soon for you to do anything but cry. I am so very sorry for your loss. To lose him so soon after his diagnosis hardly gave you two time to say good bye and tie up the loose ends we all have in our lives. Please be kinder to yourself and I think you need a "better" grief group...do you have a church minister to talk to..or siblings? One of the things we always do at our support group is cry....there's a box of kleenex on the table and we take turns pushing it towards each other. How large is your group and who is the moderator.??