I like to play music (mostly Irish traditional) with my family. None of us are any good, but the playing's the joy. I've also been studying American Sign Language along with my husband for a few years. I can't manage classes any more (going out in the evening? I don't think so!) but we are proficient enough to have conversations. Sometimes we go out for a silent supper.

But the truth is, these things have lately ground to a halt. It's not really that I'm too weak to do them (though I had to give up the fiddle because of muscle weakness); it's that I'm just tired all the time, and never have the energy to feel like doing stuff. This rut I'm in is brutal, brutal, brutal. I thought maybe it was depression causing the lack of creative energy, but I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.

General fatigue is a real part of this disease. I'm getting done what need to be done--the kids' education, basic household chores, even making some money working from home--but I've cut out all the things that were fun and creative. I don't know what to do about that. As a homeschooler, my creative hobbies are more than just hobbies--they're inspiration to the kids.

So, what to do? Force myself to break out the mandolin and the telescope and the cookbook? Drag myself to ASL classes? I just don't know. It's like a Catch-22: you need energy to get yourself energized.

Abby