Dear Kay,
You wrote a heart felt post. I hope it is ok if I give a partial repsonse for now. I can get back to it again another time.

These are lots of appts and tests. Each one seems more stressful than the last. I thank goodness that you were comfortable about the way the gyn and nurse dealt with you.
I'm so sorry that you are facing a weekend of worry and tears. I wish I could lift you up out of that and give you some ease.

I asked about when you got your official disability because I have seen people go through a period of growth after the disability. They come to terms with it and they settle into their definition of their new version of their lives. I'm not saying that this will necessarily be the case with you -- only saying that I've seen this with some people.

M.