HELLO and Welcome! I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband.

I too lost mine 9 years ago, and I still miss him terribly. I know how you must be feeling, because I remember where I was at 3 months.
I take Topamax for the nerve-type pain, and it doesn't make me loopy at all. I've talked with others who take it and they say the same thing. I'm wondering if maybe it might help you. I've been on it for 10 years, and I still haven't needed an increase in dosage!!! I'm on 400mg per day and it has stopped the burning/stabbing/tingling pain that was killing me! I have PN in the legs, due to a botched surgery.
Again, I'm so sorry for you loss, and also for everything you suffer from!

Bless your heart, you must be in terrible pain ! You will be in my prayers. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee